Saturday, November 5, 2011

Nice Actions Don't Fix Mean People

It's a lesson I've been learning lately, and prepare for a Claire sermon because every once in a while I've gotta vent.

If someone is mean to a friend behind their back, I'm often to scared to confront the person thinking "It's not hurting anyone if they don't know..."  But here's the thing, people who've done this.  You know who you are.  If you are mean to my friends behind their back by saying so to ME, guess who you've hurting????  ME!!!  I'm HURT and I'm OFFENDED!!!  It's not an attack on you, it's just the way I'm gonna feel because--NEWS FLASH!--I happen to be fiercly loyal to my friends.  Yes, something I am very proud of and would never want to change.  I'm loyal to my friends even when I see flaws in them, when they drive me batty, when they make me want to scream, or when they push me around.  Guess what?  I'm not in a friendship strictly for my benefit.  Maybe that's the mindset that makes devorce so common, just saying.  I mean think about it.  God called us to fellowship, yes, because we need it, but also because THEY need it.  It's not about me...or you!  It works both ways.  Otherwise God wouldn't have given us all different personalities.  Sometimes you need people like you, and sometimes it's best to have people to ballance you out.  So my best friends aren't going to ALWAYS push me around but sometimes they aren't perfect and I've found that when they do, something is behind it.  All my friends have issues and you don't have to like them, but I do.  So if you are going to be my friend then take that into consideration!  Thoughts just don't sit around, they're like seeds and they grow if you're not strong enough to kill the bad ones.  Recently someone said something really bad about a friend of mine, and I've noticed that I'm bugged by it now.  She isn't perfect and has some issues to work out.  And lately, they've hurt and bugged me too, but when it gets to a place where I'm willing to stand back and not say anything in her defence, well, that's the danger sign.  The same thing happened this summer with a different friend and I've contributed to a ruined reputation and I'm sorry.  People have tried to bring me down enough that I know how hard it hurts.

I've had a mindset lately that the most important thing is to protect myself from rumors and to get what I want out of life.  I've made life about a few things that really don't matter in the longrun.  And as normal as they are, that's not an excuse for ignoring what's real.  As much as I hate the rumors I've heard about me lately, and don't be surprised I know, they are just me.  I know what you say about the people at school [insert name here] and I know that you ignore me and judge me sometimes [insert other name here] but the fact is I just want to be friends and quit this immature drama!  Yes, I'm going on and on talking to people who may never see this...and I'm okay with that.

To my real friends, you know who you are, I love each and every one of you!  Thanks!  <3

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