Yeah, I'm writing it. Every Christian girl I've known who blogs has talked about it....and it's my turn. I'm mostly writing this in defence/exploration of my friend's thoughts because I myself and not given to romantic endevores. Yet. Mostly. Sorta. I mean, let's face it, I think about it a lot. Not any more beyond that. I wonder when I'm gonna get married and who, I listen to love songs, watch chick flicks and always cry, pray about my husband, and stuggle with the fact I've got many years of singleness infront of me.
And yes, it's possable to do all this without having a face in mind. I promise.
I had a great talk with Lizz, who's been more than a best friend lately. I love her to death and she helps me so much. Took over a page writing out a thank-you prayer mostly about her! <3
Anyway, we talked about how girls have it hard now. 200 years ago or so, we could have been married. Or it wouldn't be far off.
You see, in the 1940s-50s, there came an invention, or not really invention as much as emphasis, of teenage years as having its own culture. These years are characterized by temporary romance, and more than that, the pursuit of ME!
Having "Follow your dream!" "Believe in yourself!" screamed in your ears 50 times an hour is gonna influence you. But seriously, girls mostly are involved in the "guy crazy" stage because we're wired to be capable of true love and desire to be free of parents and be married now. People call us rebellious, and yeah, we are. And we need to control it. But it makes a little more sense now. The ME! takes the place. We gals don't feel like our fam "understands" us anymore! I know, I'm stereotypicalizing here, but I get it. We want someone to ourselves. Galfriends aren't enough either sometimes. Girls can be jerks. Other words come to mind. We want to be loved without having to change or try. But when that doesn't work (and you are soooo lucky if it does!) we become obbsessed with ourselves. I understand me. I want others to like me. Effort and time come into play and artificial becomes a chapel.
This attitude says, these years are for YOU! Eat, drink, and be merry! Not really, but it does say, work, get your dream job, you are more important that getting married! Career demands take over our created ability to be homemakers. It sounds so rustic. I don't love the idea of doing dishes, cooking, cleaning...all day when I've been working all these years and am on my way to the Met Opera stage! But it's most likely gonna happen. It's what I'm wired for.
Anyway I got way off track, so here's the tough thing, how do I control the desire for being in love if I'm created like that?
1. If you have a not a ton younger than you, tell her how you feel. My sister's a bit younger and she is my best friend and a HUGE supporter! She knows me better than anyone and she would never betray me.
2. Pray! Most important. I hate to be that girl who goes, "Oh go pray about it!" But really, even if it is quick, it really helps.
3. Follow your goals. Find something you can passionly work on, for a few years... :/
4. Find ONE very strong friend who adores you and who you can tell anything to. If she isn't in your main social circle it's better. Make sure she doesn't belittle your problems but also doesn't let you dwell on them. (<3 u Lizz!)
5. Girls, don't go guy crazy, but keeping secrets from yourself can be very binding and with only your thoughts to know means you're gonna think about it, a lot. Giggling with a galfriend lightens the whole thing and keeps those head-over-heals feeling at bay. Trust me, people are gonna disagree with this but girls are social creatures.
6. Embrace this time of being single. As soon as someone figures this out, let me know. ;)
Just some musing. Hope this helped.
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