Yes, I know. I have been epically slow with updating...when we got back from Africa someone needed to barrow my memory chip from my camera before I had a chance to upload the pictures. I was hoping I would get them back a few weeks ago...but alas!
So I will tell you about Africa later when I have duh duh duh! EVIDENCE!!!
Anyway, I wanted you all to read something I write for school...which has been amazing but taken forever! I have had a ton of stuff to do! GAHHHHHHHH!!! And more to do today!
So here it is:
“Weep and You Weep Alone”
By Claire Barber
“Laugh and the world laughs with you; weep and you weep alone.”
I’ve heard this ever since I can remember. It was always reinforced to me, time after time by my busy parents. First it was the time my favorite blue dress was declared too small for me to wear my first day of kindergarten. My frazzled career woman mother gave me a look as she picked out a new outfit, dried my tears, and thrust me into the care of the young woman with the sleepy-storytelling voice and a mass of red curls that was my teacher.
My father gave me his share of parenting when at age ten I came to him broken-hearted at the loss of a time consuming, handwritten book report that had disappeared. He looked at me over his laptop screen: flying fingers paused over the medium of his “all-sustaining” pay-check. Lips parted as the Red Sea while he muttered three great words of wisdom, “Not my problem.”
Four years and one data-saving laptop later, it was no schoolwork I was crying about, but of being deprived the chance to attend a lock-in party one Friday night because it was finals week. This naturally would mean the end of my popularity, friendships, self-esteem, and most likely the world would come to an end before the night was over. Can you hear the violins?
Sweet sixteen turned bitter one week when no one asked me to homecoming. Well…almost no one. In my selfish teenage mind, “Harry” [put on large glasses] didn’t really count.
And as if that wasn’t enough trauma for one year, tears upon my pitiful request for that designer gown fell on unhearing ears. According to my mother when all I wanted to hear was, “You don’t need a fancy dress to look beautiful!” Instead it was, “That’s enough of the pity-parties!” And from Father, “Maybe if you’d care to do a little work for yourself once in a while you wouldn’t have to come crying to us!” I stayed home with a movie, a bag of popcorn, and a Dr. Pepper that night.
But I don’t want to make my parents sound awful! They gave me everything I needed and more. The message they tried to enforce in me, I suppose, they thought was for my own good.
But I remember one time when the irony of that statement was sickening.
I was grown up by then…at least in my own opinion. It was the summer before I started collage, and I was babysitting for a little extra cash…babysitting for two full days while the parents spent their anniversary in the Bahamas. My first thought looked somewhat like an “S” with a line through the middle. My second after about two hours with these kids was “This had better be worth my while.” See, Jayden and Jolene were twins in their “terrible threes.” After running after them for several hours on my last day there, Jayden decided to break down crying for no apparent reason. Jolene copied the gesture of affection.
“Wa’ Mommy! Wa’ Mommy!” they cried.
I tried everything to make them laugh. I faked falling off their rocking horse, and ended up rolling into the toy chest which I discovered is quite firm, actually. I collected myself, and then began to laugh! Glancing at my lovable little terrors I noticed they were quiet, but staring stone faced at me and frowning. Well…I tried. But the world wasn’t really laughing with me today.
Just a few “short” hours and the parents waltzed through the door, handed me a pile of cash, and ushered me to my car.
At home, I saw something I couldn’t recall ever seeing in my life, and can’t recall seeing since. Both my parents crying!
“Mom? Dad? What happened?”
“Your brother.” These two words from my father were enough to convince me the worst had happened.
You see, in the midst of my egotistical world, I never told you about Will. He was older than me by seven years, and served in the military. Apparently the military never really served him back, and now he was gone forever.
I cried too. And so did tons of friends and relatives at his memorial service shortly thereafter.
About a month later my family had recovered…well…somewhat from the shock. But I hadn’t, and I still cried every time I thought about it. My parents decided it might be a good idea to take me and Will’s former fiancé, Lane, out to dinner. We settled on a Chinese place called “Tea Leaf and Dumpling.” I didn’t have a huge appetite, though we focused on all the good memories. When they brought fortune cookies, I opened mine out of a feeling of emptiness more than anything.
Mom noticed the hurt look on my face after reading it, and took the paper from me. What do you think it said?
“Laugh and the world laughs with you; weep and you weep alone.”
My mom looked at me. “Sweetie, I know we haven’t always taught you this, but it isn’t true. We love you, and if you laugh or cry we will always be there to laugh or cry with you!” I though back to the funeral, and all those people feeling just like me…almost. I looked at Lane. She had tears in her eyes, so I squeezed her hand. We all began to tear up. Then, I looked down at the pictures Mom had brought. The one at the top of the pile was Will, dressed up as a pumpkin for Halloween, standing next to Mom holding baby me.
I can’t explain it, I began to laugh! We all did! If Will was gone, he was gone for a reason, and who was I to question it? I loved him, Lane loved him, and so did Mom and Dad. And we still do! I felt a load lifted as I realized I can still be grateful for the time we had together. I made my own saying that day:
“Life is too short not to laugh no matter if the world laughs with you; but when you weep, the Lord won’t let you go!”
Hope you enjoyed!
<3, Claire
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